Yet Another Reason I Love The Pioneer Woman
Established: I love The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, though now I can enjoy fewer of her delicious cookbook recipes because I’m avoiding dairy and (temporarily, I pray) gluten. I’m making the best of it by catching up on her blog. Recently she posted this, a very funny “Ask Pioneer Woman” Q&A. I’ve excerpted a bit which I wish someone had told me when I was 19, though I never ever ever asked anyone advice on matters of the heart because, well, I was too painfully shy:
Dear Pioneer Woman,
I am 19 years old and I have never been on a date or been in a relationship. I have always had a problem with being shy and can’t seem to get past it. Hopefully this doesn’t sound funny, but I don’t think I am ugly or anything so hopefully that isn’t the reason why I have never been asked out. I feel like maybe I come off as too reserved to guys, though, because of my shyness. I am also afraid partly of being hurt, and am a girl who (as impossible as it may be) wants the first man to be the right man.
Sometimes the fact that I have never been out with a guy worries me because I have always dreamed of being a wife and mother. How is that supposed to happen if I never date anyone? Maybe I just want it to happen too soon? What age did you feel like you were ready to get into a truly serious relationship (as in ready for marriage) and what advice do you have on keeping your heart safe in the process?
Timid in Texas
Sweet girl, there is nothing wrong with you. You’re a late bloomer in the dating realm, but there are plenty of way-too-early bloomers to even the score. The only thing strange about the fact that you’ve never been on a date is what societal pressure tells you is strange, so let’s block that out for the time being.
What I do take from your note, though, is that your fear of having your heart broken might be a little on the elevated side. It’s natural for humans to protect themselves, particularly from emotional pain. But in order to find love, we do have to be willing to take a chance and open our hearts—otherwise, there’s nowhere for the love to enter.
I should write Hallmark cards. Not.
What I’m saying is, there are no guarantees…but that’s what makes love so wonderful. And look at it this way: to the extent that we’re able to feel hurt, we’re also able to feel joy. So don’t let fear drive you—whether in life, love, job, friendships…anything.
Also, don’t impose a schedule upon yourself. Don’t feel impatient that you’re not yet on the road to marriage. Nineteen is very, very young and you have plenty of time ahead. Concentrate on your life, your job, your hobbies, your interests—not on whether or not you’ll ever find a husband. It’ll probably happen when you’re busy with other things.
Hold your head high!